a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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