I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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