i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
