Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nicole vs. Life
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
