im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
