Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
