It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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