Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
