Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize