we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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