I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
