If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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