you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
