Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want to make out with him forever
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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