THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
