he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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