The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
