Have you finally orgasmed yet?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
oh god the rape fog is back!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
