Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I will be naked everywhere
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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