that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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