The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
did i walk over a car last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize