The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
