My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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