Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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