I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
