Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
