Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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