so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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