i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
