i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
