God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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