I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize