Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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