I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
