What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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