you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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