It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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