Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
