ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Even the bartender felt bad for me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
