at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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