Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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