I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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