No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
