I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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