Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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