It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
