I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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