You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
