when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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