R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
