shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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