I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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