did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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