Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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