if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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