his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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