I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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