Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
