i think my tv is drunk
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
