Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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