i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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