my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
