If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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