"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
