Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Panties = found
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