ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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