I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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