it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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