he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
