dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
