I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize