sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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