I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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