it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
