I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
