I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
