you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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