Nicole vs. Life
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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