He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like eating out sand paper
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
