I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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