We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I cut my penus on the lid.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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